Now He Wants A Divorce. You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

Please consider the following before you think of confessing, because he will ask you. Who did you cheat on him with? Better not be his family member, friend, business partner, a lowlife his driver, gateman etcyour old timer, because these will make it hard not impossible for him to pardon you. Where did you cheat? Better not be in his home. When did you cheat? Better not be moments when he was sick or had any problem.

Why did you cheat? No reason is cogent enough if you're legally married to him. Confession is good, but seeking counsel before confession is the best move.

Added: Some praised and some condemned my choice of word "lowlife". I can understand. I wish you will all be there to hear the man speak after hearing the wife's confession, and she actually cheated with his husband's driver. Your conscience is fascinating; it is alive. For me, the remorse you show should attract forgiveness. Nevertheless, pray for God's wisdom before taking any action. Poster follow this advice. God answers prayers, I'm a living proof. Nuezha : Serious!W hen cheating on your husband, you are always walking a slippery slope.

Telling your husband that you cheated on him can be a frightening proposition. You are never sure how he might react to your betrayal. What do I next?

should i tell my husband i cheated

Should I say something? Will he leave me if I tell him. Do I dare tell him that I slept with another man. Chris, Should I tell my husband I betrayed him? I was weak in the moment and things just evolved. I feel like I need to come clean. On one hand I feel so ashamed and regret what I did. We tell each other everything and now I am hiding this terrible dark secret.

Usually my first thought when I get these kinds of questions is to caution the individual not to rush into doing anything rash. By the way, a while back I wrote a post that was designed to help men spot if their wife was betraying them. You should read this as it will help clue you in on what not to do to give yourself up if that is your ultimate plan.

Should You Tell Your Partner If You Cheated? Here's What Experts Say

Clearly, whether you should reveal your sexual liaison with another man is a very sticky situation. I could argue that telling your husband such a horrible truth is going to set back your marriage. What if your husband finally discovers that you cheated on him?

Such behavior, though often destructive, is simply not going to go away because we have collectively learned our lesson. Its not like we grow up and learn from our mistakes and pass on our great insights from one generation to the next. The frequency of infidelity has remained about the same for decades.

That would suggest to me that sociology and biology plays an important role in choices we make. As often as we think we know something is wrong and as often as we swear we will never fall under the spell of being unfaithful, it happens. I am reluctant to be precise with the numbers because surveys do not always capture how often infidelity really occurs. That is a big question and calls for a separate post. Look around my website and you will find several articles on this topic.

Specifically, I want to walk you through some of the ways you might want to think about this question.

Why I Cheated on My Husband (And Never Told)

Should you tell him you were adulterous all those times? Will that be too much for him to handle? Who is to say that what you did was evil. Many very good and decent women have given in to their needs or impulses, ending up in the arms of another man. While my experience in advising women tells me that having sexual relations outside of a marriage usually leads to personal conflict and problems, along with total or near destruction of the marriage; it is not always so.

Or you were just curious what it would be like to cheat on your man so you thought you would give it a try. It is just part of the reality of our species.

It happens every day in marriages and relationships. What matters now is given what has happened and taking into consideration why it happened, what should you do? There is a school of thought that says that a cheater will almost always be discovered and if you live with the lie of adultery, you will end up tormenting yourself and cause irreparable harm to your marriage. The notion is that if you fess up to your husband and explain what happened, in time he will forgive you.

For many women, if they have cheated on their husband, a certain amount of guilt tends to play on their conscience.My husband and I have been friends with another couple for many years. We have spent vacations together as well as many holidays. My friend and I are very close — like sisters. I know that if I reveal this information, my friend will take their child and leave her husband. Name Withheld. Should you get hooked up? All of which is to say that a cheerful life lived in ignorance of important facts about your situation is worse than a less agreeable one lived with the truth.

For one thing, your friend might know more than you think. So she has a greater call on your loyalty. What are the considerations in favor of keeping quiet? One is simply the thought that this is none of your business. Yet the betrayal of a close friend is your business. She would expect you to tell her something like this; I assume you would want her to tell you if the situation were reversed.

The second consideration is that, were you to intervene, the results would, in some respect, be on you. Her child might agree. By protecting her from the truth, you would be taking a decision that rightly belongs to her. What you could do, as her close friend, is tell her what you know and then help her to think through with you what she ought to do. Given your evident belief that she would be unwise to leave her husband, you can make the case for trying to work things out.

I work in a Title I high school — a public school serving a largely low-income community — that has about 2, students. I teach in a smallish program with high-needs kids. By needs, I mean any and all needs you might imagine. Our school has a single social worker, who is obviously stretched thin and has a complicated personal life. I often refer students to this social worker for anything from pregnancy to friend drama.

I seldom hear back unless I hound this person with follow-up emails or in-person visits. The social worker makes grand, sweeping gestures like painting affirmative slogans in the student restrooms but is, in my opinion, ineffective and even negligent on an individual scale. I often fall asleep at night worrying about this or that student or multiple students, and this year, several of my students have dropped out — all of whom I previously referred to the social worker.

There are many administrators and counselors and a nurse on our campus, all of whom should see what I see. We teachers seem to be in agreement when this issue comes up in conversation, but is it really our place to point out to an administrator what he or she should observe so plainly? Nothing has changed, and the situation is devolving daily.

One social worker with 2, students in a high-poverty district? Whether this social worker is incompetent or simply overwhelmed or both, in some measurethe school authorities ideally should do something: get a better social worker or get this one more help. And the administration should be even more inclined to help if a group of teachers expressed that worry. Is this merely out of institutional inertia?

The needs of the students are, rightly, your paramount concern. Yet the broader failures here, I suspect, go far beyond staffing choices. They most likely have to do with the limited resources available to the school, despite Title I funding, and the ways in which low-income families have been let down by support systems outside the school.

Keep doing what you can to make things better, and keep trying to encourage others to pitch in. But systemic problems ultimately require systemic solutions.I love my husband.

A few years ago while traveling for work for several months, I got involved with another man. At the time, I believed our marriage was on the rocks, and that my husband would leave me. I also needed to feel freedom.

When I came back, we believed we should be together to work things out. But I could never admit to him that I had done this terrible thing. Today, I feel that if I want to evolve, I must tell him the truth. But I need guidance and to learn from others, if any of you out there have admitted your guilt willingly. How did you admit this to your partner? Did you plan it, or did it happen in a moment of despair? I recognize that I have the power to ruin his life possibly and that the decision is with me.

But I want to know how to admit this most gently and lovingly. I am desperate not to lose him or our marriage. If any of you decided to admit your guilt to your partner, I would much appreciate learning from your experience and the outcome of your admitting to this. All is not lost. Ask yourself will you ever repeat this? This man you had a one night stand with, is he in your life, a coworker? Will he rat on you?

I would never deprive my loved once or anyone else for that matter of their right of choice to make their own decisions. Truth never hurts, only confusion of what truth is does.

TELLING MY HUSBAND I CHEATED TO SEE HOW HE WOULD REACT! (This went left)💔

I have hope that you will embrace the truth and give back to your husband his right to make his own decisions.

It can only benefit both of you if you are both consciously aware and involved. Absolutely I feel like you should tell him. He deserves to know. Look at it this way, the guy you cheated with knows, your husband needs to know.

should i tell my husband i cheated

Just my opinion. If you think the air needs clearing, okay, tell him, but face the fact it might destroy your marriage.

Telling him might make YOU feel better, but might be the end of your relationship. The problem with affairs, if you love your partner, is that since they ought to be your best friend then at heart you want to share it with them.Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance.

Moderated by Maryna SvitashevaPhD. RP Licensed Professional Counselor Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance. Top Rated Answers. I cannot be the one to decide that for you, but i can help you by talking through how your feeling to see what you need to do.

Did you find this post helpful? There's is no need to tell every part of your life to your partner. When you can cheat on him you could even hide what you did. Cheating hurts. Sometimes what is hidden gives you less pain than what is known. He is happy up now. Try to fix yourself by not doing it again and love your husband so it will compensate what you did. Stay blessed. Do you respect him enough to tell him?

Do you care what happens in your relationship enough to tell him? And you should probably ask for a divorce too because if you have cheated on the man you love then you can't possibly love him all that much otherwise you would not have betrayed him. Rather leave than be unfaithful.

Our first rule on 7 cups is that we do not give advice, because we are not in your shoes, and the wrong advice can be harmful. However, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself that may help you come to a decision: Why do you want to tell him? Is it maybe to relieve yourself of guilt? What will happen if you tell him? Can your marriage survive the infidelity? A lot of marriages do Do you want it to?

Do you regret cheating? If you do, and you're never going to do it again, why hurt your husband by telling him, if instead, you could carry that secret to the grave? Is there a problem in your marriage? Are you unhappy? Are you sexually satisfied?

There might be something else you need to talk to your husband about. Honesty in this case can do a great deal of harm. Any of our actions can bring cause harm if we aren't first aware of what we are trying to accomplish. One choice would be to find a way to forgive yourself. There is no situation that guilt can't make a little worse. Guilt serves to make us feel better about our actions without really addressing the behavior that led us there. Forgiveness requires that we first be honest with ourselves about the impact of our behavior.

Once we come to peace with our choices we can then see more clearly what impact a confession will have on the person we wronged. You are the ultimate expert on you. Find a place of peace and ask the question will my confession hurt or harm? Does it serve me or him?I had gotten myself into a horrible situation and did not know what to do; should I tell my husband that I cheated or not? My name is Lena and I was invited to share my story as a guest blogger for the Marriage Fitness website.

I will tell you how I found the best way to overcome the obstacle I was facing in my marriage. I have always loved my husband and I made the worst mistake that I could ever dream of. I was now on the pursuit to find out the right way to correct my harmful actions. I have always prided myself on being an honest woman. However, the thought of confessing my affair to my husband made me sick to my stomach.

If I kept my affair a secret, would I be considered a liar or a bad person? Would I be able to live with this my affair as a secret? On the other hand, if I told my husband, I was putting too many things at stake.

How would he react? Would it end our marriage? Both of my options seemed like the wrong way. So my question remained unanswered; should I tell my husband that I cheated or not?

should i tell my husband i cheated

I felt like a bad person if I were to tell my husband about my affair or if I kept it a secret. I did not want to be in this position but most of all I felt terrible for putting my husband in the middle of my mistake.

Every morning I would wake up deciding today I am going to do the right thing and tell my husband. I was holding back, because I was never certain if it was the right thing to do. What if he no longer wanted to stay married?

Should I tell my husband that I cheated and take the chance of divorce? At this point I knew I needed to make a decision. I read many blogs and searched the internet for answers or advice.

I was only left with conflicting messages that left me even more confused. Now there was only one option left, and that was to seek professional assistance. He not only answered my question, but Mort gave me the insight I needed to correct my mistake. I am so thankful that I was able to overcome the challenge I had encountered in my marriage. My story is probably typical. Husband fell into an affair with a woman at work and left me. I got the Marriage Fitness program. Husband was very obstinate at first, but now we are happier than ever.

Is Honesty the Best Policy I have always prided myself on being an honest woman. Still Undecided I felt like a bad person if I were to tell my husband about my affair or if I kept it a secret. Seeking Advice I read many blogs and searched the internet for answers or advice.

Fix Your Marriage. Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel is an alternative to counseling. It's the most successful marriage crisis program in the world.

Get 7 Secrets Free Learn More.Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance. Moderated by Maryna SvitashevaPhD. RP Licensed Professional Counselor Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance.

Top Rated Answers. I cannot be the one to decide that for you, but i can help you by talking through how your feeling to see what you need to do. Did you find this post helpful? There's is no need to tell every part of your life to your partner.

When you can cheat on him you could even hide what you did. Cheating hurts. Sometimes what is hidden gives you less pain than what is known. He is happy up now. Try to fix yourself by not doing it again and love your husband so it will compensate what you did. Stay blessed. Do you respect him enough to tell him? Do you care what happens in your relationship enough to tell him?

Looking for answers on the internet I just want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. I know this might not be something you want to discuss with your friends or family, but if you join this site you can connect with a therapist and get free, anonymous support from trained listeners and a huge support community.

Nobody is here to judge. And you should probably ask for a divorce too because if you have cheated on the man you love then you can't possibly love him all that much otherwise you would not have betrayed him. Rather leave than be unfaithful.

Our first rule on 7 cups is that we do not give advice, because we are not in your shoes, and the wrong advice can be harmful. However, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself that may help you come to a decision: Why do you want to tell him? Is it maybe to relieve yourself of guilt? What will happen if you tell him? Can your marriage survive the infidelity? A lot of marriages do Do you want it to?

Do you regret cheating? If you do, and you're never going to do it again, why hurt your husband by telling him, if instead, you could carry that secret to the grave? Is there a problem in your marriage? Are you unhappy? Are you sexually satisfied? There might be something else you need to talk to your husband about. Honesty in this case can do a great deal of harm. Any of our actions can bring cause harm if we aren't first aware of what we are trying to accomplish.

One choice would be to find a way to forgive yourself. There is no situation that guilt can't make a little worse. Guilt serves to make us feel better about our actions without really addressing the behavior that led us there.

Forgiveness requires that we first be honest with ourselves about the impact of our behavior.